i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just want nice things and good sex
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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