I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
