Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
