would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize