so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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