the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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