Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
