Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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