Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
