Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize