He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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