For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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