I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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