you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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