Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
