Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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