I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
