I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
