I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
