you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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