he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize