I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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