i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
