I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
