I am spending my child support on dildos
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize