he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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