Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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