You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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