just come out here and I will go home with you...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
