the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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