Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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