he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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