direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
