bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
