As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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