Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
