You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
