ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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