So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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