Already got asked if we're dating
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
