very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I am morally bankrupt
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
