tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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