I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it was like eating out sand paper
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
