Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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