Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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