Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
