no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
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Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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