): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
