I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
