I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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