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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
