You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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