I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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