Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize