Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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