so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
