I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
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Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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