her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
