Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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