My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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