Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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