I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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