I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
