that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
