ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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